Top 11 reasons Dubya will appoint a "Warren Commission" to investigate false WMD claims.

11. Gambling that Mr. Beatty will be too flattered by the appointment to be critical.

10. As with the original Warren Commission, evidence will be sealed until the year 2039.

9. Plans to pin the whole thing on an obscure Iraqi scientist named Ali Harvey Oswald.

8. Original Warren Commission members Gerald Ford and Arlen Spector are still available and will advance their "Magic WMD" theory.

7. Its just the opportunity needed by captains of industry like Ken Lay to restore their credibility.

6. By the time the commission releases it's report, he can expect a presidential pardon from Jenna.

5. Hoping a similar, astronomically unlikely, number of witnesses will meet untimely ends.

4. Several calls were made to Lord Hutton, but he still won't come out of the shower.

3. The part of Supreme Court Justice Earl Warren will be played by Antonin Scalia.

2. Getting political advice from O. J. Simpson.

1. The first Warren Commission got his dad off the hook.

Index