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11. It was vandalized by departing Clinton staffers. 10. Segway may have ties to Al Quaeda. 9. Flawed engineering. Will file lawsuit before instituting further torte reform. 8. It's more complicated to ride a Segway than to land a fighter on an aircraft carrier. 7. Loss of motor-control among undocumented side effects of haloperidol. 6. CIA briefing on Segway inadequate. 5. #5 withheld so as not to set a bad example for his daughters when they are old enough to drive a Segway. 4. Casual mention of Segway's 2 horsepower engine triggered Dubya's equinophobia. 3. He ran over a pretzel. 2. Part of a coordinated plot, along with toostupidtobepresident.com, to make Dubya seem guileless and therefore trustworthy. And the number one reason a Segway scooter threw Dubya: 1. He wouldn't stop saying, "Let's roll."
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