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Neil Bush family values
quiz (11 questions):
11. A woman knocks
on your hotel room door in Thailand or Hong Kong. You...
a. politely inquire
the reason for her visit.
b. explain that
you are married.
c. have sex with
her.
d. all of the above
e. a and c only
f. b and c only
g. worry momentarily
that your brother's odd UN vow against "sex tourism" was directed
at you.
10. You only have
to admit to having "sex with a prostitute" if you...
a. have sex with
her.
b. pay for sex
with her.
c. know which of
the Asian businessmen paid and how much.
d. b or c
9. You are offered
$2 million in stock to sit on the board of a Chinese semiconductor manufacturer.
You...
a. offer thanks
but explain that, if only for the sake of appearances, it would not
be an appropriate relationship.
b. make a note
to ask the next girl that knocks on your hotel room door if she knows
the English word for "semiconductor."
8. When you discover
that one of the backers of the semiconductor company is Jiang Mianheng,
son of Chinese President Ziang Zemin, you...
a. back out of
the deal. (After all, Ziang Zemin is not only a communist, he held hostage
a US Navy spyplane and its crew.)
b. "Ziang
who?"
7. When you discover
that chip fabrication is an important US industry, and that bringing your
business acumen to an overseas entity might contribute to the continuing
loss of millions of US jobs, you...
a. offer your services
to a domestic competitor at the same or lesser rate.
b. remember that during the Silverado Savings and Loan hearings, a business
ethicist, hired by federal regulators, concluded that you should not
face prosecution because of your "ethical disability."
6. In the unlikely
event that the lapdog US press will call you to answer for your behavior,
you will...
a. acknowledge
your sins.
c. beg your wife's
forgiveness.
d. resign from
the board of Texas-based children's vaporware company Ignite!
e. blame Bill Clinton.
5. You decide that
you are no longer in love with your wife of 22 years, so you tell her
you want a divorce...
a. in person.
b. via email.
4. You are a member
of one of the richest most powerful families in the world, so you...
a. generously provide
for the mother of your children.
b. hire the best divorce attorneys money can buy.
3. Your wife of more
than two decades was a stay-at-home mom, so you...
a. insist on selling
that home.
b. provide $1,500 dollars a month only until your 14 year-old's 18th
birthday.
c. think it's about time she started a career.
d. all of the above
2. Your girlfriend
has recently delivered a child and your wife wants to establish paternity,
so you...
a. voluntarily
submit a tissue sample (although not under court supervision), confident
that your girlfriend's husband will prove to be the father.
b. ship your girlfriend and her kids off to France.
c. get the cuckold to file an $850,000 defamation suit against your
wife.
d. all of the above
1. If you were to
quantify your achievements as the brother of a sitting President of the
United States, they would be...
a. worse than Billy
Carter.
b. worse Roger
Clinton.
c. worse than Jeb
Bush (since January 20, 2001)
d. all of the above
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