Top 11 reasons Dubya is cultivating the nickname "J.C." for himself.

11. Wants historians to blame everything he's doing on Jimmy Carter.

10. Hoping some of that J.C. Watts magic will rub off on him.

9. Can assuage troubled Christians that it stands for Julius Caesar.

8. Can assuage troubled imperialists that it stands for you know who.

7. The amiguity requires that everything be rendered unto him.

6. Still has autographed picture of Jimmy Connors over bed.

5. Has detected a hint of sarcasm from folks in Cheney's office when they say "Mr. President."

4. He couldn't get anyone to call him "Jiminy Cricket."

3. Tired of being handed the phone only to discover Saudi paymasters were asking to speak to his father.

2. It polled higher than "G-Lo."

1. It's a lot nicer than how the other 4 billion people on the planet refer to him.

Index