Top 11 reasons George W. Bush hired a personal attorney.

1. Suing a pretzel company.

2. Suing a bicycle company.

3. Suing the makers of Segway Scooters.

4. Suing the makers of alcohol, automobiles, garbage cans, and hedges.

5. Planning to cut Laura loose on November 3.

6. Can't remember what he told Chalabi at that party.

7. Can't remember what he told Novak at that party.

8. Seeking to overturn Bush v. Gore before the manure really hits the fan.

9. Watergate's first lesson: don't trust the White House counsel.

10. Scalia too close to Vice President to be trusted.

11. Needed to tie-up some loose ends before getting out of the country.

Index