|
Top 11 reasons TooStupidToBePresident.com endorses George W. Bush for President. 1. "When your opponent is drowning, throw the S.O.B. an anvil." 2. Entire TooStupidToBePresident concept undermined by the tall guy in the debates. 3. Hoping to see "Bush endorsed by TooStupidToBePresident.com" as message board thread title. 4. 5% of the editorial board voted to endorse Nader. 5. Warehouse full of Bush mouse-pads and other "merch" will be difficult to unload when Dubya is grounds-keeper at Crawford High School. 6. Afraid Dick Cheney will attack if John Kerrry is elected. 7. Electoral defeat is too honorable, would rather see him impeached and driven from office. 8. TooStupidToBePresident.com was a DoD PsyOp to make Dubya seem guileless and therefore trustworthy, but now he needs all the public support he can get. 9. URLs TooHonestToBePresident.com, TooHeroicToBePresident.com, TooTallToBePresident.com, TooPresidentialToBePresident.com, etc. were unavailable, so we had to endorse the incumbent. 10. As with all media megaopolies, we value our integrity, but our first responsibility is to our shareholders. 11. Karl Rove offered us a Red Sox World Series win in exchange for the endorsement. |